Geplaatst: 7 March 2024
On 8 March, it is International Women’s Day. In many countries, women are doing well. More and more attention is being paid to equality between women and men. In some countries, as you know, such equality is still a long way off. Autism looks different in everyone and there are also general differences between men and women. There are still many assumptions about women with autism, which means that the person is not always seen in a correct way.
An important issue here, for example, is social interaction. Women with autism are often, not always, adept at social interaction. They know what is expected of them and, at the surface, they can meet it just fine. Others assume therefor they have no difficulty in social interaction.
In the background, all sorts of things happen in those situations. Think, for example, of having lunch together at lunchtime. Super fun, some think. Managers often think ‘it’s important to be able to talk about things other than your work with your colleagues’. ‘Then you belong to the group, if you join in’.
However, what people without autism often don’t realise is that ‘being sociable’ during a break takes a lot of energy. A break is meant to unwind. To take a break from work and just relax. In a way that suits you. If you then have to ‘work’ very hard to ‘join in the fun’, that defeats the purpose of having a break.
If you ‘joined in socially’ during the break, then afterwards much of your energy for the day is lost. In this way, you will be short of energy every day which can really lead to burnout, for example.
People with (suspected) autism often run into things in terms of:
In women with (suspected) autism, you often see the following features:
These characteristics are not really specific to women; men can experience them just as well. However, they are more common in women. The list is not exhaustive; other things can also come into play. The amount of bother you experience also depends on the situation, how you slept, whether you feel good about yourself, etc.
Do you recognise yourself in the above characteristics and would you like to learn how to get through your working day? Then register now here for the free webinar Autism in the workplace (in Dutch).
Do you feel that you are understood at work? And are you getting the support you need?
I often see women and men with (suspected) autism feeling that they are not understood at work. And that their colleagues do not understand autism, let alone can take into account their colleague with (traits of) autism.
What can be very helpful here is having a conversation with your manager and/or HR. And I am happy to help you with this. Let’s start with a free de-stress session, so we can get to know each other and discuss what you are up against. Request your de-stress session below.
Want to learn how to get through your working day? Then register now here for the free webinar Autism in your workplace (in Dutch).
Are you a manager or HR employee and want to learn what you can do in the workplace for your employee with (suspected) autism? Then register now here for the free webinar Dealing well with autism (in Dutch).
Geplaatst: 22 February 2024
More and more is known about neurodiversity, including autism, and the importance of diversity and inclusiveness in the workplace. Employers have a very important role in creating a work environment where people with neurodiverse brains, such as autism, are comfortable in their work and can use their talents. But what does an autism-friendly workplace look like?
It is important to take into account that everyone with a neurodivergent brain is different and therefore needs different things. It is therefore very important to have an open conversation with your neurodivergent employee, discuss what is needed and how this can be arranged.
The points below will help in creating an autism-friendly workplace.
A good understanding of autism and being open to other than standard possibilities is essential for creating a supportive work environment. It would be good for employers to invest in training and workshops on autism. In which they learn about the neurological differences, potential strengths and challenges of people with (suspected) autism.
Are you understood at work? Is attention paid to what you need?
Flexibility in the work environment can also be very important for your autistic employee. Employers can make various adjustments, such as providing quiet workspaces where employees can retreat (e.g. when overwhelmed by sensory stimuli). In addition, flexible working hours and the possibility of working from home can bring a lot of peace to the person with ASD.
What adjustments have been made for you in your workplace? Are there any adjustments that have not been made that you desperately need?
Another important point, where things still tend to go wrong, is clear and direct communication. Employers should ensure clear and concrete work instructions and expectations. Using visual support can help enormously. Think of flow charts, checklists and possibly drawn meeting minutes. This improves communication and prevents misunderstandings.
Is communication in your company clear and direct? Or is everything being said, without it being clear what is expected of you?
Managers, team leaders and colleagues play a major role in creating an inclusive work environment. Offering training on diversity in the workplace, including specific guidance on working with colleagues with (suspected) autism, is important here. Encouraging open communication, empathy and understanding can significantly improve team spirit. This positively influences the work culture and allows the talents of team members to be used to their full potential.
Is training on neurodiversity and possibly autism offered at your company? How is this dealt with?
Development within the workplace is important for all employees, including those with (suspected) autism. You can think of offering career guidance, mentoring programmes and professional development training. Recognising and utilising the unique strengths of your employee with autism can lead to a valuable contribution to the team and the organisation.
Do you have the option of career or autism coaching, a mentor to support you or training courses for your professional development? How important is it for you to (do) have these opportunities?
It is important that executives and senior management layers within the organisation are committed to inclusion and diversity, including autism. By leading by example and emphasising the importance of an autism-friendly workplace, they promote a culture of acceptance and support. This can include allocating budget for training and development and implementing inclusive policies.
Does your company have a management focus on inclusion and diversity? Does your company have a Diversity and Inclusion policy? This can often be found on the company’s internal communication site or website.
Creating an autism-friendly workplace requires commitment, understanding and action from employers. Fortunately, I see more and more employers paying attention to this. Unfortunately, there are also still many employers who pay no or too little attention to this.
By taking practical steps such as providing adaptations, promoting clear communication and investing in training and development, employers can create an environment in which all employees, including people with (suspected) autism, can thrive.
This inclusive approach benefits not only individual employees, but also the organisation as a whole. By embracing diversity and harnessing the potential of all employees. With an autism-friendly workplace, organisations can not only increase their talent pool, but also have a positive impact on their employees’ productivity, innovation and well-being.
How is neurodiversity and inclusion support in the company where you work? Do you run into all kinds of problems at work and could use support? For instance in reducing your stress, dealing well with change or setting up a platform within your company where neurodivergent people can come together and support each other?
Request your free session now! In this session, we will discuss what you are struggling with and how I can help you. We will hold your free session of about 30 minutes in my practice or via Teams.
Request your session here.
By the way, did you know that employers often have budgets for employees that can be used for personal coaching and programmes such as Rest and Balance at Work?
Would you also like to learn how to divide your time and energy so that you can do the right things for you? So that you no longer constantly do what others want or expect of you? But so you can do the things you find important?
Request your session here.
Geplaatst: 8 February 2024
One of the first topics we start with in the 1-to-1 coaching sessions and in the group sessions is stress signals. And of course specifically autism and stress signals. What is a signal for you that you are starting to feel stressed? How does your stress feel? How can you notice the stress you have? Many people have no idea about this in themselves and feel that stress or over-stimulation suddenly happens to them.
It is important for everyone to sense when you start to get stressed, so that you can make sure your stress level drops again. If you have autism, this is even more important, because stress is often caused by a higher or lower sensitivity to stimuli. People with (suspected) autism are often sensitive to stress. It also often takes a long time to recover from stress. What might those stress signals in autism be?
What might those stress signals in autism be? Maybe you already knew this, but it’s just super hard to look at this in a good way for yourself. Because the stress keeps coming at you, instead of you being able to see it building up.
It is extra important for people with (suspected) autism to have insight into their own stress (build-up) and to pay close attention to it. But what should you pay attention to? And how to avoid being hugely over-stimulated afterwards, but not being able to prevent your stress from building up like that.
As mentioned, in my programm, this is one of the first things we work on. Because it’s so important to have a good understanding of your stress signals. And from there you can move on to learning to take care of yourself in the right way.
What you may start with when discovering your stress signals, is examining what your stress looks like. What are signs that your stress is building up?
You can pay attention to several things with stress signals, such as how you feel physically, what is going on psychologically, what thoughts you have and what you do, i.e. how you react to stress.
Some examples of things you might notice are :
Do you recognise signs in yourself that indicate stress? Do you have things you recognise when you are stressed that have not been mentioned here? Let me know in a comment.
If you have a clear understanding of the stress signals that apply to you, you will know that you need calm and overview as soon as you notice the signals. You can then do the right things to reduce stress.
At a time when you feel calm, make a list of things you can do to get rest and relaxation. Of course, this is different for everyone, but think about going for a walk, reading, cuddling with the dog or cat, colouring, gaming.
It is useful to make a list of the things that feel good for you to do and that will calm and relax you. This is because the moment you feel the need for rest and relaxation, it is often very difficult to think of what to do. Whereas when you have a list, all you have to do is choose from the things you like to do, something that can and fits at that moment.
So make sure your list includes several things you can do outside and inside. And that you can do alone or with others.
Do you find it hard to recognise your stress in time? And especially knowing what to do at such moments? And are you having trouble understanding your stress and how it builds up?
Then request your free session now! In this session we will discuss what you are struggling with and how I can help you. Your session of about 30 minutes will take place in my practice or via Teams.
Request your session here.
By the way, did you know that employers often have budgets for employees that can be used for personal coaching and programmes such as Rest and Balance at Work?
Would you also like to learn how to divide your time and energy so that you can do the right things for you? So that you no longer constantly do what others want or expect of you? But so you can do the things you find important? So that you can also get rid of fatigue?
Request your session here.
Geplaatst: 18 January 2024
This week I attended the first day of the training Neurodiversity coaching. It was a good training and helpful to get erverything in line again when it comes to neurodiversity. I regularly come across something in which I recognise myself. And that’s good to know. We were also talking about neurodiversity as a strength, something I have been talking about in my coaching for years and that I think is really important.
When I speak of neurodiversity, I’m talking about autism, AD(H)D, giftedness, dyslexia/dyspraxia/dyscalculia and highly sensitive person. Many of the characteristics mentioned in one neurodiversity may also belong to another neurodiversity. Still, there really are differences.
In business, it is important to have neurodiversity within your team(s). By having people on your team with different ways of seeing and thinking, you come up with the most beautiful solutions. If you all think in the same way, it is often difficult to think outside the logical paths for you. While someone who has a completely different way of thinking can come up with paths you have never thought of before.
It can sometimes be difficult to work in or lead a neurodiverse team. To work well together, you will need to be able to see the potential and the strengths. To do so, you need to be able to see around the ‘labels’ and be open to the person.
If you manage to be open to the person, which is always important, you will move forward together. You can then make good use of each person’s strengths. With or without a ‘label’ or diagnosis.
So what is important for the person with a neurodivergent brain?
First, it is important that the person knows his or her talents and strengths. So that these can be put to good use.
Secondly, it is important that this person knows his or her pitfalls. What do you find difficult? What do you need to be able to adequately perform even those parts of your job?
And thirdly, what you want your supervisor to know about you is important. Think about what you need, practically and also in terms of attention. What do you find difficult and how can another person help you with that? And so on.
Do you feel that you know yourself how your autism or other neurodiversity works? That you can do what is necessary for you? Are you understood by the people around you? At home and at work? I hear from many people with (traits of) autism that they feel they are not understood, at home and/or at work. And that their colleagues do not understand autism, let alone can take into account their colleague with (traits of) autism.
What can help here is gaining insight about yourself and starting the conversation with your manager and/or HR. And I am happy to help you with this. Let’s start with a free session, so we can get to know each other and discuss what you are up against. Request your free session here.
In this free session, we discuss what you are struggling with and how I can help you with it. We will have your free session of about 30 minutes in my practice or through Teams. Feel free to contact me whatever neurodiversity you recognise yourself in. I see the person, not the ‘label’.
Request your free session here.
By the way, did you know that employers often have a budget for employees that can be used for personal coaching and programmes such as Rest and Balance at Work?
Are you done with the lack of control and overview when changes occur at work? And that often present fatigue and lack of energy? Could you use some help with this? Or can I help you talk to your manager?
Request your free session here.
Geplaatst: 6 July 2023
You’ve probably heard of high-functioning autism in women before. But what is it really about? Does it mean that women with autism never encounter any problems? Do they have autism on paper but don’t experience any difficulties in practice? Let me explain.
High-functioning autism occurs in both men and women. In many individuals with high-functioning autism, it is not always recognized as a form of autism. Not all the “typical” autism characteristics apply or are evident.
As a result, even professionals may not always recognize the autism aspect. This can lead to it going unnoticed for a long time. Therapies and treatments may have little effect, and it seems like nothing is working, which only exacerbates the problems and can even lead to trauma.
You might wonder what the characteristics of high-functioning autism are.
They may include:
This list is not exhaustive. Reflect on what you recognize in yourself and what other challenges you may face.
High-functioning autism is difficult to recognize because you always strive to do things well. In the process, you constantly push your own boundaries, which you may no longer feel properly. And so, things go from bad to worse.
In women, this is often more pronounced than in men. Women are often very good at doing what is expected of them, going the extra mile, and conforming to societal norms.
Burnout is then lurking, with all its consequences.
What I often hear from women (and men) with high-functioning autism is that they have a restless mind, forget important things, and keep working more and more to try to do everything as well as possible.
They often have a college or university education but struggle with various aspects of their work. For example, they may find it extremely challenging to make phone calls or struggle to articulate their improvement ideas in a busy meeting, preventing them from contributing as they would like.
If you have a manager who doesn’t understand you well and cannot provide adequate support, it becomes very difficult at work. You may also face challenges in your personal life when you no longer know exactly what works for you and have to juggle and manage everything simultaneously.
Do you feel understood at work? Are you receiving the support you need?
I often see that individuals with (suspected) high-functioning autism feel misunderstood at work. Their colleagues often do not understand autism, let alone accommodate their colleague with (traits of) autism.
Having a conversation with your supervisor and/or HR can be helpful in these situations. I would be happy to assist you with that. Let’s start with a free destressing session so we can get to know each other. Request your destressing session below.
Request your free destressing session now! In this session, we will discuss the challenges you’re facing and how I can help you. Your approximately 30-minute destressing session can take place in person at my practice or via Teams.
Request your session here.
Geplaatst: 23 February 2023
I often read and write about autism. About how I experience it in my practice as an autism coach and about what we encounter within our family. And, of course, what other people write about autism in blogs and books. In these, it is often about people with an autism diagnosis and also about people with suspected autism.
But what exactly is autism? What are the characteristics of autism? Maybe you suspect autism, in yourself or someone close to you. Because you might recognise yourself or the person close to you in some characteristics. And in others, perhaps not at all. And that’s OK. You are you.
Let me start by saying that of course everyone is different. You cannot say that everyone has some autism. Just as you can’t say that everyone enjoys hiking or everyone likes apple pie either.
But there are, of course, some characteristics that often come with autism.
I list those characteristics below.
Characteristics of autism are divided into 7 areas. When we talk about these 7 areas, we often name the things that go differently with people with autism/autistics. In doing so, we assume that problems or challenges are experienced in some of these 7 areas.
The 7 areas often talked about when talking about autism are:
– Reciprocity, empathising with another person and sensing them
– Non-verbal communication, all communication that takes place without words
– Developing, maintaining and understanding social relationships
– Predictability, behavioural routines and rituals
– Stereotypical behaviour
– Limited interests
– Sensory over- and under-sensitivity
Now, when I look at those 7 areas mentioned above, I find that it is quite a mouthful and doesn’t really explain clearly yet what you can suffer from in practice now.
And don’t get me wrong, I am certainly of the opinion that you should name the aforementioned 7 areas in the way that it is done, in order to be able to do proper research and make any diagnosis.
But for your daily practice, I think the following enumeration would be more helpful. Below I list some of the things you may encounter when you recognise yourself in (characteristics of) autism.
Of course, this does not mean that everything works exactly as I describe here. Every person is different, works differently, lives differently and therefore encounters different things.
The below problems/challenges/things that go differently I often come across in people who recognise themselves in (characteristics of) autism:
– Fatigue, an all-consuming tiredness. Which can be a little less at times, but often hangs over life like a dark cloud. Whereby seemingly simple things can sometimes become unexpectedly complicated to do.
– Having trouble keeping an overview. Which tasks should I do first at work and how long does that take? How can I do everything that needs to be done at work, for my family, in my family, in a good way, without taking on too much? Forgetting appointments because it’s a big chaos in your head.
– Setting boundaries can be very difficult. This actually applies to most people I know, with and without (features of) autism. Whereby I see that people with (characteristics of) autism even more often try to adapt to ‘what belongs’. So that they also belong. Because they often have a feeling of not being good enough and not really belonging. And in this way, they constantly overstep their own boundaries.
– Social interaction with others. That can also be a real challenge. Because how do you know how the other person will react, what can you say in which situation, or when do you talk too much about a subject you know a lot about yourself. Sometimes it seems you can never do anything right either, you are always misunderstood. So maybe I shouldn’t say anything more….
The information above is obviously not complete, every person and every situation is different. I want to give a little clarity on what you might run into the moment you recognise yourself in (characteristics of) autism.
And do you also know that you can do a lot to learn to cope well with your (characteristics of) autism? That you can learn the following things, so that you can deal with your autism in a way that suits you:
– Learning to make good use of the energy you have available. By doing the right things for you. By finding ways to have extra energy during the day. So that you don’t crash on the couch at the end of the day because you’re completely worn out.
– Learning to keep calm, for yourself, at work and within your family. In a way that suits you. And learning to let go of ‘how things should be’ and move towards ‘how it works for me/us’.
– You can learn to set boundaries. It is important that you set boundaries about the things you find important and in a way that suits you. You can practice this in very small steps. By indicating your boundaries in a good way, you come across as confident and people will listen to you.
– You can also develop social interaction with others. You can start practising dealing with your colleagues, talking about thiss and thats on a birthday, learning skills on which this becomes easier.
Do you suspect autism and/or recognise yourself in the above? Or do you recognise other characteristics of autism? And would you like to learn more about it, to be able to do your work well without it taking up all your energy, to get to know yourself well and to live in a way that suits you?
Then make a no-obligation appointment now for a free session. We will hold the session at my practice in Best or online. The session takes about half an hour and we will discuss what you are struggling with and how I can help you.
Sign up here now for your session.
By the way, did you know that employers often have a pot for employees that can be used for personal coaching and programmes such as Rest and Balance at Work?
Would you also like to learn how to divide your time and energy so that you can do the right things for you? So that you no longer constantly do what others want or expect of you? But so you can do the things you find important? So that you can also get rid of fatigue?
Sign up here now for your session.
