I often read and write about autism. About how I experience it in my practice as an autism coach and about what we encounter within our family. And, of course, what other people write about autism in blogs and books. In these, it is often about people with an autism diagnosis and also about people with suspected autism.
But what exactly is autism? What are the characteristics of autism? Maybe you suspect autism, in yourself or someone close to you. Because you might recognise yourself or the person close to you in some characteristics. And in others, perhaps not at all. And that’s OK. You are you.
Let me start by saying that of course everyone is different. You cannot say that everyone has some autism. Just as you can’t say that everyone enjoys hiking or everyone likes apple pie either.
But there are, of course, some characteristics that often come with autism.
I list those characteristics below.
Characteristics of autism are divided into 7 areas. When we talk about these 7 areas, we often name the things that go differently with people with autism/autistics. In doing so, we assume that problems or challenges are experienced in some of these 7 areas.
The 7 areas often talked about when talking about autism are:
– Reciprocity, empathising with another person and sensing them
– Non-verbal communication, all communication that takes place without words
– Developing, maintaining and understanding social relationships
– Predictability, behavioural routines and rituals
– Stereotypical behaviour
– Limited interests
– Sensory over- and under-sensitivity
Now, when I look at those 7 areas mentioned above, I find that it is quite a mouthful and doesn’t really explain clearly yet what you can suffer from in practice now.
And don’t get me wrong, I am certainly of the opinion that you should name the aforementioned 7 areas in the way that it is done, in order to be able to do proper research and make any diagnosis.
But for your daily practice, I think the following enumeration would be more helpful. Below I list some of the things you may encounter when you recognise yourself in (characteristics of) autism.
Of course, this does not mean that everything works exactly as I describe here. Every person is different, works differently, lives differently and therefore encounters different things.
The below problems/challenges/things that go differently I often come across in people who recognise themselves in (characteristics of) autism:
– Fatigue, an all-consuming tiredness. Which can be a little less at times, but often hangs over life like a dark cloud. Whereby seemingly simple things can sometimes become unexpectedly complicated to do.
– Having trouble keeping an overview. Which tasks should I do first at work and how long does that take? How can I do everything that needs to be done at work, for my family, in my family, in a good way, without taking on too much? Forgetting appointments because it’s a big chaos in your head.
– Setting boundaries can be very difficult. This actually applies to most people I know, with and without (features of) autism. Whereby I see that people with (characteristics of) autism even more often try to adapt to ‘what belongs’. So that they also belong. Because they often have a feeling of not being good enough and not really belonging. And in this way, they constantly overstep their own boundaries.
– Social interaction with others. That can also be a real challenge. Because how do you know how the other person will react, what can you say in which situation, or when do you talk too much about a subject you know a lot about yourself. Sometimes it seems you can never do anything right either, you are always misunderstood. So maybe I shouldn’t say anything more….
The information above is obviously not complete, every person and every situation is different. I want to give a little clarity on what you might run into the moment you recognise yourself in (characteristics of) autism.
And do you also know that you can do a lot to learn to cope well with your (characteristics of) autism? That you can learn the following things, so that you can deal with your autism in a way that suits you:
– Learning to make good use of the energy you have available. By doing the right things for you. By finding ways to have extra energy during the day. So that you don’t crash on the couch at the end of the day because you’re completely worn out.
– Learning to keep calm, for yourself, at work and within your family. In a way that suits you. And learning to let go of ‘how things should be’ and move towards ‘how it works for me/us’.
– You can learn to set boundaries. It is important that you set boundaries about the things you find important and in a way that suits you. You can practice this in very small steps. By indicating your boundaries in a good way, you come across as confident and people will listen to you.
– You can also develop social interaction with others. You can start practising dealing with your colleagues, talking about thiss and thats on a birthday, learning skills on which this becomes easier.
Do you suspect autism and/or recognise yourself in the above? Or do you recognise other characteristics of autism? And would you like to learn more about it, to be able to do your work well without it taking up all your energy, to get to know yourself well and to live in a way that suits you?
Then make a no-obligation appointment now for a free session. We will hold the session at my practice in Best or online. The session takes about half an hour and we will discuss what you are struggling with and how I can help you.
Sign up here now for your session.
By the way, did you know that employers often have a pot for employees that can be used for personal coaching and programmes such as Rest and Balance at Work?
Would you also like to learn how to divide your time and energy so that you can do the right things for you? So that you no longer constantly do what others want or expect of you? But so you can do the things you find important? So that you can also get rid of fatigue?
Sign up here now for your session.
